Vaughan, Lembit and the Daily Sport

Translation of Jingo , by Vaughan Roderick
(yes, this post is almost two days old, but it made me giggle)

I have a sore head after trying to understand the budget's implications on Wales' government. Why not take a break in the company of Lembit's column in the Daily Sport: "Tackle these daft frogs"?

"I HOPE you didn't try getting the ferry to France this week because the English Channel was shut. A fleet of French fisherman got themselves all wound up about their fishing quotas. British fishermen would have signed a petition and marched round Westminster waving their tackle in the air... let's hope the situation gets sorted before the French run out of cider, we run out of onions and Daily Sport babe Gemma Massey has to dress up like Vera Lynn and fly across to sing about Bluebirds over the White Cliffs of Dover."

I can't stand more but before turning back to the treasury's big red book let's quickly read the latest about the Daily Sport's campaign regarding the celebration of St George's Day.

"There is a widespread feeling that mass immigration has confused our sense of identity. Many of our values and tradition are under attack from PC loonies, Islamic extremists and Eurocrats"

Worse than that,

"Saint George's Day is in serious danger of being forgotten.. half of English people have no idea what our national hero did."

Perhaps they also don't realise that George is patron saint for Catalonia[*], Portugal, Lithuania, Ethiopia, Russia and Palestine and a handful of other countries in addition to England. It may be an idea for one of the "mass immigrants" from those countries to offer religious education lessons!

Translation by Dewi Dau

* For those of you interested the Barcelona crest makes reference to St George